It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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