people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
