so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.