whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize