I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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