i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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