The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.