there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize