i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
whose parrot is this?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
