i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's official drugs can't kill me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
