She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
