I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
