He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
