the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
