Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
