Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
a search helicopter?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
