Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
