it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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