So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
