she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
