I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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