Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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