thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
