so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
And then he peed in my hair
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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