i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
