That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
