The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
