you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
