toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
