You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
