there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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