There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
