Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
