It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
