A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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