He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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