Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
