is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
