Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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