how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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