I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He? As in you personified your dick?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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