Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
