I have demons in me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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