Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
