Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
