Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
