that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
