My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
