I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
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I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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