i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
