At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
