Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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