Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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