what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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