i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
