so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
