I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
