I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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