woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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