Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
