he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
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it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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