they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
two words: eviction party
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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