Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
