Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
