He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
