i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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