a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Alive.
So much puke
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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