Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
