She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
