I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.