your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Someone shit on the floor
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad