I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.