She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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