i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
