My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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