I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
